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Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update turned the winless Jets into a punchline, with Colin Jost riffing on former quarterback Mark Sanchez’s Indianapolis arrest and stabbing during an alleged drunken altercation with a delivery driver. Prosecutors upgraded Sanchez’s case to a felony battery charge carrying up to six years and $10,000 in fines. The 38-year-old Fox analyst, who had chest surgery and posted a $300 bond after booking, has pleaded not guilty and returns to court in early November. Sanchez, a 2009–12 Jets quarterback, twice reached the AFC title game; the Jets haven’t made the playoffs since 2010.

Prepared by Emily Rhodes and reviewed by editorial team.